We have these two main roles, but within each family, each member may have one or more other roles they play in order to maintain harmony in their family. One member may be the peacemaker in the home because they have the most level head and the rest of the family knows they can come to them for advice on how to solve a problem, inside and outside the home. Another role could be the goofball of the family, someone who loves to make everyone laugh and knows how to cheer someone up when they are sad. There's the role model, who the parents tell the other children to look up to, usually the oldest in the family. There's the supporter of the family, the person everyone can count on for love and nonjudgement because they know that person has their best interests at heart and wants them to succeed in whatever they choose. There are many others, but it would take too long to name them all.
In my Family Studies class this week, we focused a lot on some of the negative roles in a family and where they stem from. My professor talked about when he was growing up, he would act out a lot because he knew that when he did that, his family would come closer together and it bring harmony to his home. I thought that was so interesting because you would think that having a child act out would cause even more contention in the family. This got me to thinking about other kids that are classified as the "black sheep" of the family. Do they act out because they want to, or is there an underlying reason for it? Maybe they cause trouble because it's the only thing that gets their parents attention. Or maybe they have reasons like my professor. They act out because to them it's better to be in trouble than to have their family fighting amongst themselves. My professor told us about one of his friends who became a meth addict at age 11 because he noticed when he was in trouble, his parents stopped fighting and came together to focus on him and what he was doing. This broke my heart to think about this child who went down such a dark path in his life because he thought it was the only thing he could do for his family.
Another thing we talked about was that some members in our family will adopt different roles when they see that the other person can't fill that role. One example that comes to mind is single parents. Often, the one parent has to fill both roles as the mom and dad because the other one isn't there. Another example is siblings taking on the role of the parent. My professor talked about how his dad wasn't really around and how his older brother was like a father to him and he looked up to him for guidance.
Being the youngest in my family, it's hard for me to see what my role in the family was because my family is pretty great and I felt I didn't really do anything to contribute to the family dynamic, except being the baby of the family. So I decided to call my mom and dad. I was not expecting their answer. My parents first told me that they loved me and that they knew I needed to be a part of their family. My mom went on saying how she thought that I was the rock of the family and how she appreciated how level headed and supportive I was. I was surprised by this because I always thought I was the indecisive one in the family.
This week has taught me a lot about the different roles in families and how each role is crucial to maintaining balance and harmony in a family. Im so grateful for my family and the examples they are to me of what it means to be a disciple of Christ. Each member of my family has a special place in my heart and I couldn't imagine what my life would be like without them.
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