Hey guys. This week was probably one of the most important weeks in my class because we discussed gender roles and homosexuality, and what it means to the person and their society. This is not a subject I talk about lightly and I will do my best to be sensitive about other people’s beliefs. But because this is my blog, I am going to discuss what I believe as well.
On Tuesday we discussed gender roles in our society and how they play a part in the development of children and whether it affects their sexual orientation when they grow older. We watched this video that was created in the 80’s, and one of the questions they asked was if toy companies are the main factor of gender stereotyping based on their toys and who they target specific toys to. For girls, they would sell dolls, dress up, play kitchens, and they would wrap them up in big pink boxes. For boys, they would sell toy trucks, action figures, and their commercials would have a tough guy attitude. When asked why toy companies would target their toys to certain genders, companies would reply that it was because that’s what sold. Whenever they would try to sell gender neutral toys or sell what was a “girl” toy (and visa versa) and change it up so boys would want to play with it, it never sold. For example, the Cabbage Patch Doll company came out with a Cabbage Patch boy doll, and they lost money on it because boys weren’t interested in playing with it.
The rest of the video went on to investigate whether there really was a difference between men and women. There was a lot of controversy shown in the video because there were many people, mostly feminists, that proclaimed that there wasn’t any difference at all and that this documentary should be shut down for even thinking of it. But in fact, research shows that there are differences between men and women. One of the most important differences between us is the makeup of our brains. Women have more white matter in their brains and men have more gray matter in their brains. This means that how we think, act, and communicate is different. So, if there is evidence that men and women are different, why are people trying to so hard to cover it up? I feel like in our society today having differences between the sexes is portrayed as a crime, and that everyone must be the same in order to be equal. But I believe that it is because of our differences as men and women we build societies with different perspectives and we can contribute different things to enrich our lives.
Being different doesn’t make one gender better than the other, and I feel that people forget that. They say that we must be the exact same for our society to be united. I for one don’t think so. If everyone was the same, our society wouldn’t get anywhere, and no progress would happen.
Talking about same gender attraction is something of a taboo in my culture. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I believe that love and intimacy is meant to be between a man and a woman because it’s the only kind of relationship that can carry on in the next life. I am not saying that those who experience same sex attraction are bad by any means or are less deserving of love, but I can’t support it either.
I used to believe that some people were born with same sex attraction and that they didn’t choose how they felt, but they still could choose whether to act on those feelings. Thursday’s discussion opened my eyes to a new understanding about people with same sex attraction and how society influences their actions. In our discussion we talked about how society wants to gid rid of counseling for those who deal with same sex attraction. At first, I thought it was strange that the LGBT community would be against therapy but discussing it more in class I was able to see why. LGBT rights have only been active in the past few years, and so it makes sense of why some of them would be opposed to such counseling because they might be worried it would take our society a step back. I on the other hand think that not providing that kind of therapy would actually do more harm than good because research has shown that those who deal with same gender attraction are more likely to be depressed and have substance abuse issues because they don’t feel accepted and they don’t know who to turn to.
I also believe that gender roles in our society also play a big part in whether someone is LGBT. There are set stereotypes in our society of what it means to act like a boy or a girl. We discussed how in school kids would bully someone if they acted in a way that wasn’t like the norm of their gender. This reminded me of a classmate I had once, and everyone called him gay all the time and I never understood why. He was a good friend and was fun to talk to. It started out as a side comment from one of the guys but soon turned to a daily taunt by half the class. I could tell he hated being called that and I felt bad about how he was being treated. But this memory made me question if some of the reason why people choose to be gay is in part of societal pressure. For example, if guys are creative and have interests and behaviors that are considered feminine, then they must be gay because apparently a straight man wouldn’t like those things or act that way. My professor talked about how one of his clients in the past came in because he was suffering from serious depression. As he was talking to this man, he found out he was gay. My professor asked him to talk a little about it and the guy said his family and friends almost expected him to be gay because he liked to draw and wasn’t a tough kind of guy. He went on saying that after 15 years of hearing this, he decided that they must be right, even though it wasn’t something he didn’t really want. My professor told us that the man felt like he didn’t have a choice in who he was. Everyone treated him like he was gay and so that’s how he acted.
My professor gave another example of when he was in church and there was a woman behind him that was talking to another woman. She said to the other lady that she realized her 5-year-old son was gay and that she was relieved because now she knew how to treat him. I mean, what? How do you know if your son is gay when they are a child, and how were you treating him beforehand? I honestly was saddened by this because this mother chose who her son was before he even figured it out himself. And that is what I think society sometimes does. It looks at a person and their attributes, and tells them, “Well because you like this stuff or doing these kinds of things, you must be this way” Just because you don’t fit a certain stereotype, it doesn’t make you less of a man or a woman. One of my classmates commented, “Jesus Christ doesn’t have ‘male or ‘female’ qualities, but the qualities we look for on how to treat each other and how to be perfected”. Christ didn’t judge someone based on their social status, career, or sexual orientation. He loved everyone no matter who they were or what they believed, and we must do the same.
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