Communication Between Couples

 Communication is one of the things that I’ve seen that either will grow a couple closer together or will tell them apart. Communication is not just verbal, but it is also nonverbal as well, which is even more important. People can say anything they want, but their bodies and the tone of their voice is what conveys how that person really feels. For example, let’s say a couple is trying to decide where they want to eat, but each person wants something different. Finally, one person gives a sigh and says, “Ok, let’s go eat where you want, I don’t care.”, but when they said it, they rolled their eyes. Now if you just heard that, you would think that they were fine wherever they ate, but their body language told the other person how they were truly feeling.  

Nonverbal communication is the most effective way to gauge a situation because it can give the other person a reading of what their significant other is feeling right now. I’ve noticed in my life that girls use nonverbal communication a lot more than guys do. For example, one time my friend and I were at a party and I noticed that she liked a guy at the party. I gave her a look and we had about a two-minute conversation about the guy right in front of him without saying anything. Guys on the other hand, use more verbal communication, which can sometimes be hard for me because sometimes I need to tell a guy something but don’t want to attract attention, so I would give him a look. Every time, the guy would get confused and so I would have to pull him to the side and tell him, but by then people have noticed. 

Learning how to communicate with each person is crucial in maintaining a good relationship with them. Some people like up front communication where the person tells them exactly how they feel, whereas other people are used to communicating more through gestures and don’t talk as much. One thing I noticed about myself is that I don’t really like voicing how I’m feeling about certain subjects because I don’t want to hurt anyone else’s feelings. For me, words are very concrete and unless I’m sure about something, I don’t voice how I feel about it. This semester I started dating this guy and one thing I really appreciate about him is that he is very honest with me about how he is feeling, and it has helped me become more honest in how I feel too. In the past, when I know a guy likes me, I would beat around the bush about how I felt because I didn’t want to accidentally lead them on and hurt their feelings. But now I am a lot more up front with my thoughts, and I have seen the change in my own life. My communication skills have improved, and it’s a lot easier for me to connect with people. 

The reason why communication between spouses is because without it, they won’t be able to make the important decisions in their life without having major conflict. My professor talked about that he and his wife have a system when they need to talk about anything major in their life. They first set a time and place, usually at night in their room. Then before they even start talking about what the meeting is about, they first tell each other things that they love about each other. This sets a good atmosphere to the room and creates a space of love and respect. Then they pray together to ask for the Lord’s guidance in making their decision. He told me then they would talk about what impressions they got and once they reached the same conclusion, they would then pray again to see if it’s the right one. If they both felt good about their decision, they ended their discussion with another prayer and then would end with some sort of treat.  

One aspect of his method of communicating with his wife I appreciated is that he started and ended on a positive note. By doing this, they are coming closer together and they are allowing the spirit to enter their discussion and help them make the right decisions. I also loved how they always made sure to include the Lord in their decision. 

Effective communication between couples is crucial because by learning how to talk with each other in the right time and place, they will grow closer together and have a happier and healthier relationship.