Intimacy and Fidelity

 This week in my Family Studies class we talked about intimacy and being faithful to our spouse. I really enjoyed this lesson because I feel like in my church’s culture, it’s taboo to talk about sex and in turn we aren’t as informed as we should be about it. We are taught that intimacy only should between and man and his wife and that it is an expression of love between them. But because intimacy is a powerful thing and it is what brings children into the world, often leaders would talk about intimacy with a warning to not have sex outside of marriage because of the seriousness of the sin. This often leads members to have negative notions about sex and that it’s a bad thing period. This can lead to marital problems between spouses because they feel like what they are doing is bad and that they are sinning, when in fact they aren’t. What is a beautiful and sacred experience between spouses is now something they feel they should be ashamed of. 

Another thing I have noticed is that people in our church don’t like to talk about sex with their children. This hurts the youth because if they feel like they can’t go to their parents or leaders with questions they have about intimacy, then they will turn to their friends and other media sources, which most of the time won’t have appropriate or correct information about it. My parents never really talked about sex with me growing up and so when I had questions, it took a while before I was comfortable with asking them. Even today I don’t really ask my parents, but I would ask one of my older siblings because they are more comfortable and open talking about it. I found this funny at first because growing up, my siblings and I never talked about intimacy at all. But as we got older and my siblings got married, we would have conversations about it, which I really appreciated because I was in a respectful environment and I didn’t feel awkward in asking them questions about it. 

One of the talks I read for this week was “Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments” by Elder Jeffery R. Holland. I really like this talk and would recommend it to everyone. Holland talks about intimacy and the sacredness of it. He talks about how in our world today, sex is seen as something people do as a pastime and isn’t a big deal. Media promotes casual sex as something to be celebrated and if you choose to wait for marriage, then you are old school and missing out. But that isn’t the case. Waiting to have intimacy with your spouse makes the experience all the more special and it plays a significant part in creating a healthy marriage. 

Another important part in creating and maintaining a healthy marriage is fidelity to your spouse. In my reading it talked about how it’s important to set boundaries with your spouse. Some examples are how you are going to interact with other people and making sure you’re not alone with someone of the opposite gender. The reason they give is that when you spend alone time with someone, you end up making connections and sometimes it can lead to feelings of affection for them, even though it was unattended. Fidelity also means continuing to build trust with your significant other. That means being honest with them and having good communication. Being actively involved with your spouse will create a stronger bond and it will help you know when the other is struggling so you can help them.