This week in class we learned about the transitions of marriage, from dating to engagement, to planning the wedding. One thing my professor always stresses in class that in relationships, there has to be a distinction between the stages. I have noticed that especially in my church’s culture that a lot of couples like to slide between each stage of their relationship until they get married. My professor said some of the issues with this is that when couples slide through the stages, they aren’t able to have the conversations needed of how they are going to go forward with their future as a couple and the planning that needs to be done.
On Tuesday we discussed marriage and planning the wedding. I was so shocked when I found out that the average wedding costs around $30,000. That’s enough money for a down payment of a home! I just couldn’t believe that people would be so willing to put that much down for one day. And it’s not even for you, but for the guests and your family. Now I’m not saying that you shouldn’t put thought and effort in making a nice wedding, but the venue shouldn’t be the main focus of that day, but the union between two people.
One thing I really appreciate about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is that marriage is viewed as a sacred experience and the wedding isn’t at some venue, but at the temple. I personally haven’t witnessed a temple wedding yet because I am not endowed, but the look on my siblings faces as they walked out of the temple with their spouse was the best thing ever. Their faces all glowed with pure happiness. For those who aren’t members, a temple marriage is when a man and a woman are married and sealed together with priesthood authority for all time and eternity. In the ceremony both the man and woman make certain covenants with God that they promise to uphold and to keep to their spouse. One thing I learned today is that when a couple is sealed, they aren’t actually sealed right then and there. Like when someone receives the Gift of the Holy Ghost, they don’t receive it until the Spirit cleanses them. This is the same thing. Couple aren’t sealed for eternity until the Spirit of Sealing Power seals them together. Doctrine & Covenants: 132 explains this in more detail.
Then in class we discussed what comes after marriage and adjusting to living with your spouse. We discussed how important it was for the couple to separate themselves from their family and become “as one flesh”. Now I don’t mean separate as in you have to live far away from your family, but you need to make that distinction that you are not the child in your parent’s circle anymore, but you are now your own family. Marriage is a serious commitment and if you or your spouse is still in the mindset that they are still a part of their family’s circle, then they won’t be able to build the marriage bond they have with you, which can lead to problems in the future. One of these issues can occur when a couple has their first child. After having the baby, it’s common that the mom and dad will start to separate a little because the mom feels like she needs devote all her energy to the baby and often the dad feels left out. It’s important to make sure that the dad feels included with all aspects of taking care of the baby and to remind him that he is still the most important thing because relationship with your spouse comes before anything else.
This week has taught me a lot about how important relationships with our spouse is and making sure to take the time to still go on dates and spend time together is what makes a marriage happy and everlasting.
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